Partnering up is full of big decisions, big emotions, big negotiations and big changes. We often try our best but feel like we’re blindly trudging through unknown territory. That’s because every relationship is unique and brings it’s own set of difficulties. Plus we’re bringing all our expectations and hurts from the past. It’s a lot to hold without support.

Couples therapy can be one of the most rewarding experiences. It’s a process. It helps stop negative patterns and promotes the strengths of your relationship. It’s also a place where you can connect deeply with your partner while learning about your desires, needs and how to communicate them. 

Getting stuck and suffering in a relationship isn’t necessary. With guidance, you can overcome problems and find solutions that work for both of you. 

 

Couples counseling can teach you to... 

  • Communicate more effectively & create positive patterns
  • Work through disagreements or differences
  • Be assertive and get your needs met
  • Create safety together to be authentic
  • Let go of the past, forgive and grow into something new
  • Relate in healthier ways and develop more love

 

Clinical approaches

When working with couples, I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). What that means is I’ve been trained to help couples increase sensitivity, fairness and mutuality by deepening their attunement to themselves and their partner.  This releases defensiveness and promotes compassion and intimacy. I also help couples truly hear one another, acknowledge the positive, and learn rewarding new ways to work together. 


 

Additional topics of expertise:

  • Creating healthy communication patterns
  • Identifying and letting go of past traumas and triggers
  • Navigating cultural differences and power dynamics
  • Healing after affairs 
  • Sex and intimacy problems
  • Non-monogamous relationships
  • LGBTQ issues
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My husband and I went to see Brendan to decide if we needed a divorce—things were terrible between us—and I literally had to drag my my husband there. After just the first month, there was a ton more listening and warmth between us. Brendan really helped us see the positive in each other and he’s so encouraging and loving. We are doing so much better and still go in for “tune ups” when we need it.
— Annie H.

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I look forward to meeting you!

Contact me for a free 20-minute chat to see if we’d be a good fit to work together.

brendan@thelovetherapist.org

415.890.3773